‘Entourage’: Watch your back

This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.

‘Entourage’ is back after a week-long Labor Day hiatus. But instead of an end-of-the-summer mellow, paranoia loomed large in this episode. Everybody was on edge. First, Vince had his security breach issue, with creepy stalker Curtis Tucker still at large. Israeli forces have descended upon Vinny’s compound and have taken over the place like they own it, marking their territory in unsavory ways, and having their way with a poor, defenseless box of cereal. Turtle was none too pleased about being awakened at 6:43 in the morning by a couple of jokesters, particularly because he’d rather be snuggling up to his girl Jamie-Lynn. Vince doesn’t like the constant surveillance, either. “I know it’s annoying,” Ari commiserated. “Do you?” responded Vince. “Two guys following behind me, my every move? To which Ari coolly replied, “You usually have three. The only different is, your idiots aren’t armed.” Touché. But you can never been too safe with the precautions. Just ask director Frank Darabont, who made a brief but memorable appearance in which he sported an orange shirt and relayed an anecdote about some rabid prison parolee sending him letter after letter saying he wanted to Shawshank him. Darabont’s solution? Pack some heat. He even brandished his firearm, which he just happened to be toting around in his canvas messenger bag. “Seriously. Paranoia,” he cautioned. “That’s all I’m saying.”

(Speaking of stalkers: Vince’s alias is Rupert Pupkin, who, of course, was the name of Robert De Niro’s deluded comedian turned stalker character in Martin Scorsese’s “The King of Comedy.”)

Turtle also got the feeling he was being watched — by a giggling gaggle of college coeds. Does he have something in his teeth? Did he forget to put on his face this morning? Wait – is Turtle suddenly hot? Right as he was about to let the giggling get the better of him, the cute brunette revealed that it was the girls who broke into Vince’s home and took his underwear in a sorority rush prank. Case of the Missing Drawers solved!

Of course, Drama was a little late to get that memo.

And given that he was still being punished for assaulting the studio suit, Drama was forced to endure hours of makeup that made his face look like it had lost the will to live. Which made him even scarier when he went after the creepy, yet unassuming Curtis at West Hollywood’s Pleasure Chest. Turned out it was all for naught, of course, as the guy just worked for H.D. Buttercup (how does one go from working at furniture store H.D. Buttercup to the Pleasure Chest? Just asking), and his license got lost in between the cushions. At least the whole affair introduced us to sexy Sadie, who came off as fun and sweet and a seemingly good match for preferred Pleasure Chest customer Drama. Might there be more than just kinky bondage between these two?

Of course, you can’t have an episode about paranoia without mentioning Ashley. Who maybe should kick her untrusting habit of scrolling through other people’s phones. Her suspicious questioning and random screenings at workplaces have started to take her and E out of Relationshiptown and on a direct route to Stalkerville. Ashley did everything short of planting a GPS system to track E’s every move, and you can smell her jealousy of his assistant from a mile away. This can’t end well.

Nor could Ari’s incessant Lloyd-bashing. I know I was bemoaning the fact that we hadn’t seen much of Ari’s hazing as of late, but man, the agent really let it rip tonight. He was relentless with his long-suffering assistant, and any pleas for civility only made it worse. (“This is not ‘The Breakfast Club,’ Mr. Gold. This is my life!”) From calling him slave to berating his purpose to demanding that he pick up after the neighbor’s dog, Ari really let Lloyd have it, and the assistant had finally reached his tipping point. Perhaps he needed that little nudge from the rear, but the way I saw it, Ari’s unrelenting ire all but forced Lloyd out of the wrecked Mercedes and into newly promoted Adam Davies’ embrace. Loved that Lloyd abandoned the car in the right-hand lane on Wilshire and Crescent, leaving Ari to wail alone in his glass case of emotion. The show really crackles when it comes to Ari and Lloyd scenes. Now that they’ve become adversaries, I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Now that the Vince stalker situation is solved, which I guess means the end of our Israeli henchman Aaron Cohen. Honestly, I was hoping for more with the casting of Peter Stormare, but other than faithfully playing his role, his man Big Yoni, with his Froot-Loop filching and dropping of unwanted kids in the pool, left a greater impression than Aaron himself did.

But at least we got some fun looks at Zac Efron. The scene with the stalking chaperone using the mortified kid to get close to him was entertaining, as was Efron’s put-on act about being used as leverage to defect over to the Miller Gold Agency. It also allowed for this nice zinger from Ari. “You are now my new favorite client,” the agent crowed. “I cannot WAIT to get you a producer credit on ‘College Musical.’ ” Ha!

What do you think? Was Lloyd right to finally call it quits with Ari? Do you think Adam Davies will make good on his job offer to Lloyd? Is Ashley crazy, or does E just need to earn back her trust? Would you buy a lunchbox with a shirtless Zac Efron? Abs alert!

— Allyssa Lee

Photo credits: Claudette Barius/HBO (2)