Evolution Theory: UNLV Over UCLA

U nconventional wisdom for a Wednesday morning . . . Nevada Las Vegas: The best college team ever? Put the Rebels on a neutral court with either the Alcindor Bruins or the Walton Bruins, and I like Tark’s chances. The game has evolved.

Shaquille O’Neal: The best college center ever? Got to go with Alcindor and Walton on this one. The game hasn’t evolved that much.

Arkansas: The right team in the wrong year.

Fay Vincent: His comparison of George Steinbrenner to Saddam Hussein was an unfortunate choice of analogy. Hussein never traded Rickey Henderson for two subway tokens and a bag of magic beans.

Boston Red Sox: Spent $17.1 million to sign Roger Clemens, Matt Young, Danny Darwin, Mike Greenwell and Tom Brunansky for 1991. And they still won’t win the Series.

Victor Kiam: This disease is terminal, isn’t it?

Gene Murphy: Euthanasia for Cal State Fullerton football would have been a blessing in the long term. Murphy’s a good coach who deserves better, like maybe a well-paying job as an NFL assistant. You don’t have to worry about axing the fencing program to make sure the Packers are going to play next week.

Jim Hess: A proponent for keeping Fullerton football afloat: “Personally, I’m tickled to death.” Of course he is. His New Mexico State team lost 27 in a row before Nov. 17 and Aggies 43, Titans 9.

Bill Mulligan: Back-to-back last-place finishes is no way to go out, but if you’re Mulligan, is there any reason to go on?

Dylan Rigdon and Jeff Herdman: Both have had outstanding seasons at UC Irvine. If only they had them during the same season.

Gary Gaetti: Still amazed the Angels got him. Not so amazed the Angels lost Chili Davis as the free agent-to-be-named-later. Gaetti at third and Davis at DH would finally have given Doug Rader a set lineup--an impressive one, even--and you know nobody wants that.

Chili Davis: Tom Kelly is a thinking human, so he’ll keep Chili out of the Metrodome outfield. In a 1988 game, Chili lost two balls in the Teflon roof, and the next time he looked up, he claimed to see a kid tearing up his baseball card in the outfield bleachers. “I’d have done the same thing,” Chili said.

Luis Polonia: Now he’s set to move in as the Angels’ permanent DH. Some things do work out for the best.

Dante Bichette: Let’s lay out the terms for detente right now. Bichette agrees to show up a half-hour earlier on game days, Rader agrees to put Bichette in right field and leave him there.

Luis Sojo: Hit .361 this winter to win his second consecutive Venezuelan League batting championship. That’s something Mark McLemore never did.

Greg Walker: He joins Fred Manrique, Dave Gallagher, Floyd Bannister and Donnie Hill. Is this White Sox West . . . or Vancouver South?

Fritz Shurmur: And now he says he’s going to install the soft zone in Phoenix. The hot, dry air hasn’t helped at all, has it?

Jeff Fisher: He’s had all the right ideas so far.

Terry Hoage: No Ronnie Lott, but he played for Fisher in Philadelphia, knows the system and won’t cost anywhere near $1 million. A Plan B safety with a Ram future if I’ve ever seen one.

Mike Reichenbach: Get to know this name, too. Played middle linebacker for Fisher before going Plan B in Miami.

Cal State Fullerton basketball: Road map to the NIT--Titans go 3-2 the rest of the way (losses to New Mexico State and UNLV are in the bank) and 1-1 in the Big West Tournament to finish 17-12. If that doesn’t get them in, they have nothing to blame but Aaron Wilhite’s knee.

Southern Section basketball playoffs: “Everybody Plays” worked for youth soccer, but did the world really need San Marino (5-17) at Costa Mesa (3-18)?

Pete Rose: Put him on the ballot already. Baseball is as American as mother and apple pie, just not as American as the democratic process.

Terry Norris: If he’s the one who shuts down the Sugar Ray Gravy Train, call him an American hero.

Monica Seles: The best women’s tennis player in the world. I know it, you know it, Steffi Graf knows it. Only the women’s tennis computer doesn’t know it.

Pigskin Classic II: BYU and Florida State on Aug. 29. The Heisman and Bobby Bowden. If that doesn’t play in Anaheim, nothing will.

Charles Barkley: “You can’t force me to play. I’m warning you.”

Todd Marinovich: World League of American Football calling.

Buddy Ryan: Where are a guy’s friends when he needs them?

Eddie Murray: Local baseball writers bury the hatchet and name him most valuable Dodger--and Murray snubs the awards banquet. At least he’s consistent.

Esther and Jose Canseco: I thought they’d last forever.