Forget About Flowers

Around this time of year, I routinely suffer from Gift Buyer’s Hostility Syndrome. What with weddings, anniversaries, showers, graduations, Father’s Day and a disproportionate number of relatives who were born in late spring, the joy of shopping fades pretty fast. Alas flowers, my traditional no-sweat gift of choice, seem to have gone way up in price and way down in life expectancy. And no one eats sweets anymore.

Post Mother’s Day, I was cranky enough to throw nutrition to the wind and make a large investment in McDonald’s gift certificates, the one item no engaged couple on my list has registered for. (Am I the only one who finds it aggravating to go to a store and be handed a computer printout six yards long, filled with suggestions on how I can spend money?) Luckily, I heard about Send-A-Book, a Devon, Pa., company that aims to do for publications what FTD did for bundles of love. Their motto: “Send a gift that lasts.”

Let’s say you want to send your father a book for Father’s Day. Let’s say you want to send him “Bridges of Madison County” or “Healing and the Mind,” or a treatise on bead making or even my book of clever essays. All you have to do is pick up the phone, dial 1-800-793-SEND (hours: 9 a.m.-6 p.m. EST) and tell the operator. He or she feeds your order into a computer network of more than 350 independent bookstores around the country. If they have a member store in Dad’s ZIP code, your literary offering--wrapped in white tissue paper printed with gold quotes from Thoreau and Emerson--will be hand-delivered in a distinctive red bag within 48 hours. If there’s no store nearby--for instance, if he lives in a state like Alaska--they’ll dispatch an identical package from headquarters. And they claim to offer all books currently in print.

“The only intelligent gift to send is a book,” said Cadence Smith, vice president in charge of marketing. “And the only intelligent way to send it is through Send-A-Book.” Actually, if you’re a regular bookstore customer it’s just as easy to have your favorite shop mail your selection. You may even save a couple dollars since Send-A-Book has a $14.95 minimum, which doesn’t include the $5 handling charge or tax (though you do get a free bookmark and a combination gift card/bookplate). They also offer a snazzy looking gift certificate, which strikes me as a better option.

Best of all you can please virtually everyone without ever leaving home. Smith assured me that the operators were specially trained and could make recommendations. So I decided to give the bookseller who answered the phone a little test. “My father likes books of clever essays by female authors,” I began. “Try Anna Quindlen,” he replied.