The Veeck Legacy Lives, Even If On a Minor Scale

Seeing that no 22-year-old, 150-pound women with 78-mph fastballs were drafted in the first round of baseball’s amateur draft Tuesday, I can only assume Ila Borders did not start a trend.

That doesn’t mean La Mirada’s Borders, a reliever for the St. Paul Saints of the Northern League, can’t get minor league batters out. In her second outing, she gave up a single and two walks before striking out the side in her one inning Sunday.

But if you believe the Saints’ president, Mike Veeck, when he says signing Borders was not a publicity stunt, then Wilton Guerrero has a used bat to sell you.

It’s a matter of genetics.

Not hers. Veeck’s.

He’s the son of the late Bill Veeck, who was to baseball what Cal Worthington is to cars.

Exploding scoreboards. Squid giveaway nights. Martians landing at second base. If Veeck thought it had a wisp of a chance to attract fans to his St. Louis Browns, Cleveland Indians or Chicago White Sox, teams he owned during half a century in the game, he’d try it.

He had traditional roots, literally. When his father was the Cub general manager, Veeck planted ivy on the outfield walls. But even then, he was attracted to characters. Among the first vendors he hired to sell peanuts at Wrigley Field was a young Jack Ruby.

Bill Veeck is most famous for sending the vertically challenged Eddie Gaedel to the plate for the Browns, threatening to hire a sniper when the contrary midget mentioned he might like to try swinging at a pitch.

Veeck loved Max Patkin, the contortionist ex-pitcher known as baseball’s clown prince. And Jackie Price, who shot baseballs out of a bazooka and then raced in a Jeep to catch them before they hit the ground. And Jack Soo, a Chinese actor who guised as a Native American national anthem singer before hitting it big with “Barney Miller.” And Harry Caray, whose trademark rendition of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” during the seventh-inning stretch was Veeck’s idea.

He would have loved Borders too, even if she can pitch a little.

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When John Muckler talked to the Mighty Ducks about their coaching job, I wonder if he included everything on his resume. Like the time he was coaching the Buffalo Sabres in 1995 and slapped a heckling fan, who also happened to be an Erie County assistant district attorney. . . .

I’m not sure how that would go over in the enchanted kingdom. . . .

The NHL fined Muckler $10,000, which is $9,000 more than Guerrero was fined by the National League for his corked bat. . . .

Guerrero was suspended for eight games, which amounts to a paid vacation. . . .

He has the players’ association to thank for that. The Teamsters wish they had such a strong union. . . .

Speaking of the Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa once tried to recruit Bill Veeck as his front man in an attempt to buy the Detroit Tigers. Veeck said no. Politely, I’m sure. . . .

A screenplay is circulating in Hollywood for a movie about Veeck. Bill Murray, who owns a piece of the St. Paul Saints along with Mike Veeck and others, has been mentioned for the lead. . . .

Let the doublespeak begin. Mayor Richard Riordan said Los Angeles wouldn’t steal another city’s team but clarified that upon learning the San Francisco 49ers might be available. . . .

I get it. We won’t pick an apple from the tree. But if an apple falls to the ground. . . .

The next team we won’t steal could be the Seattle Seahawks, whose initiative for a new stadium goes to Washington state voters on June 17. . . .

The NHL has its draft June 21. King General Manager Dave Taylor will take time out from preparations for his annual charity golf tournament Monday at the North Ranch Country Club in Westlake Village. . . .

Compton Dominguez High guard Kenny Brunner, allowed out of his letter of intent to Fresno State after he expressed concerns about alleged point shaving, wants to go to Georgetown. . . .

Trainer Bob Baffert has a 2-year-old colt who might be even better than Silver Charm was at this time last year. He is John Bill, a grandson of Seattle Slew. . . .

Comic Rita Rudner recently broke her maiden, so to speak, as a thoroughbred owner when two of her horses, Kessem Power and Lemon Drop Kid, won at Hollywood Park. . . .

”. . . I never thought I’d be someone to win anything,” she said. “Even with the Publisher’s Clearinghouse giveaway, the little statement comes to me and says, ‘You haven’t won.’ ” . . .

Crediting trainer Randy Bradshaw, she says, “I have nothing to do with picking the horses. Randy does an audition with the horse. I guess they do a kick-line or something.”

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While wondering if we can go after the Golden Gate Bridge next, I was thinking: I’d settle for the Washington Street Bar & Grill, the Irish coffee at Buena Vista, or Barry Bonds.