LAUGH LINES
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Rock On: The White House has devised a strategy to cut drug use in this country in half by 2007. “Revoke Keith Richards’ visa.” (Daily Scoop)
On the Campaign Trail: Reportedly, after the Republican ticket’s 1992 defeat, Dan Quayle called Richard Nixon for advice. “Quayle says that if he loses in 2000, he’s gonna call him again.” (Rudolph J. Cecera)
Poll Position: In Minnesota, Gov. Jesse Ventura has a 72% approval rating. “Imagine how high his ratings would be if he had sex in his office!” (Bill Williams)
Book ‘Em: The Unabomber is publishing his memoirs this spring. “He does realize that printing presses run on electricity doesn’t he?” (Daily Scoop)
Win Some, Lose Some: According to MSNBC, Estee Lauder executives are upset that Elizabeth Hurley did a spread in Details magazine that they say makes her look cheap. “Actually they said the photo layout made her look like a cheap hooker. But the good news is at least we know Hugh Grant liked it.” (Jay Leno)
Send us a line: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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