At a Loss: “There may be a...

At a Loss: “There may be a shortage of turkeys in California this Thanksgiving. They’re campaigning in other states for the holiday.” (Gary Easley)

What’d You Say?: “According to the American College of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology, approximately 36% of all Americans suffer from some sort of allergy, nearly double all previous estimates. And that’s nothing to sneeze at.” (Ira Lawson)

Happy Belated: “Leonardo DiCaprio had his 25th birthday recently. I understand he celebrated the same way he does every year: by arguing with a bartender that he really is over 21.” (Andrew Wisot)

How’s That?: “Bill Bradley has a new campaign motto: ‘It Can Happen.’ Other candidates are following up. We have some of their slogans. Steve Forbes: ‘The Other White Billionaire.’ Warren Beatty: ‘A Man Who Could Realistically Be the Father of This Country.’ Donald Trump: ‘Voter, Voter in the Stall, Who’s the Prettiest of Them All?’ ” (Jay Leno)

She’s Still a Doll Inside: “Have you noticed? Barbie has a wider waist, slimmer hips and small bust in order to appear more realistic. Ken comes with less hair and a beer belly. La-Z-Boy, TV remote and other accessories are extra.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

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