LAUGH LINES

Playing It Safe: “In Oslo, Norway, the cab drivers are giving out condoms to all their customers. You just get in the cab and they give you a condom. [But] be careful--if you don’t give them a big tip, they poke a hole in it with a pin.” (Jay Leno)

Art Imitating Life: “Bill Clinton saw the Broadway hit show ‘The Producers’ in New York recently. This is the story of a charming con man who uses sex to raise money--and eventually double-crosses all his backers .... Clinton just loves attending these continuing education seminars.” (Argus Hamilton)

Beware--Road Hazards Ahead: “In New Jersey, about 170 people have recently been charged with staging automobile crashes [in an effort] to collect the insurance claim ....But here’s my question: With Firestone tires, Ford Explorers and Mitsubishi Monteros, do we really need to stage crashes anymore?” (Leno)

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