Still working on fallback positions

Tanking for dummies ...

Of course, it’s wrong to lose on purpose.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s see if we can figure out why, with a draft like this one looming, the awful teams didn’t start opening night.

It’s not that simple. In real life, teams have their financial obligations, their hopes, their illusions.

“You have to sell tickets,” a team official says. “Your business people have developed their strategies. You have to go on and play it out.

“But did half the teams in the lottery have it in the back of their minds? You better believe it.”

To the league’s credit, it removed much of the incentive when it went to a weighted lottery in 1985. Now the worst team has only a 25% chance of drawing the top pick.

It was a long time coming. Before that, the last-place teams in each conference flipped a coin, giving them a 50% chance.

Not surprising, in a game dominated by great players more than any other, the high jinks were becoming the stuff of legend.

In 1982 when Ralph Sampson was a junior at Virginia, Lakers owner Jerry Buss, who had Cleveland’s pick, tried to hold his own coin flip with the new San Diego Clippers owner, Donald T. Sterling -- at a poker game in Buss’ Pickfair home.

The league was barely over that two years later when Houston Coach Bill Fitch, whose Rockets wound up getting Sampson, pulled a memorable swan dive, losing 27 of their last 37 to nose out the Clippers for last place.

The Rockets won the coin flip and got Hakeem Olajuwon to play alongside Sampson.

That’s when the league went to the lottery. Given the teams’ willingness to do whatever it takes when there’s an obvious benefit, it was a master stroke.

Take last season’s seeding loophole, which meant the Clippers could open against No. 3 Denver instead of No. 4 San Antonio, if they could finish below Memphis.

The splash could have short-circuited TVs throughout Southern California. The Clippers lost five of seven down the stretch, including the all-important game in Memphis ... with Chris Kaman and Sam Cassell on the bench.

Grizzlies Coach Mike Fratello -- who held out Pau Gasol -- praised his players’ “professionalism,” then probably went home and kicked himself for letting Mike Dunleavy out-tank him.

With the possibility of a shot at Greg Oden and Kevin Durant, who could change a team’s fortunes for 10 years, you might have thought teams would be starting lineups with the average age in the teens, but it hasn’t happened ... too often ... yet.

Of course, the spring is young.

Fortunately for the Grizzlies, who averaged 48 wins over three seasons, fate took it out of their hands, sidelining Gasol while they started 5-17.

Happily for the Celtics, they lost Paul Pierce for 24 games, of which they lost 22.

Nevertheless, showing how little it meant in the trenches, Coach Doc Rivers reportedly told his players, “the draft pick!” Of course, Doc’s contract has one season left and no one has said anything about an extension. Showing how much pride they had, the Celtics went on a 7-4 run and even won in San Antonio.

Suggesting everyone took a deep breath, they’re 1-5 since, including a loss at home to Charlotte, which outscored them, 30-13, in the fourth quarter while Rivers kept his young players in.

Of course, for brain lock, it’s hard to beat the Hawks, whose co-owners are into their second season in their court fight against each other.

The Hawks owe their No. 1 pick to Phoenix unless it’s in the top three. Because they weren’t going anywhere, this would have been an ideal time for General Manager Billy Knight to fire Coach Mike Woodson, take over and run them into the ground.

Unfortunately, Knight is worried about his job. They’re now looking at the No. 7 pick -- unless they get lucky and draw one of the top three -- which they would have to convey to the Suns.

Then there are the Timberwolves, who, by now, should have gotten the idea they’re not a playoff team.

They owe their No. 1 pick to the Clippers for signing Marko Jaric (oops!), unless it’s in the top 10.

Happily for the Timberwolves, they had the ninth-worst record, which meant they were looking at the No. 9 pick -- before winning in Sacramento last week.

Now they’re looking at the No. 10 pick and are within half a game of the 11th-worst team, New York. If they pass the Knicks, the Timberwolves would be looking at the No. 11 pick. Of course, the Clippers are rooting for them.

However, this season’s award for ethics and/or cluelessness goes to the 76ers, who were 10-29 in January, half a game ahead of No. 30 Memphis, having just unloaded Allen Iverson and lost 26 of 32.

What likelier candidate was there and what better time to start over? Unfortunately, they’re 18-13 since, which means that unless they get lucky, they’re looking at No. 5.

GM Billy King just popped up to announce Coach Maurice Cheeks will return -- which meant that King, who was similarly endangered, is back too.

Not that the townspeople are holding any parades. Wrote the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Stephen A. Smith:

“Let your voice be heard if you’re comfortable with the idea that more wins do nothing but ensure that resurrection will be left in the hands of Billy King and Co. -- without a sniff in the direction of Greg Oden or Kevin Durant.”

If only the teams had as little character as we in the media, but nobody’s perfect.

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