Big Ten? Seems more like Big Zero

USC’s football team rang in another New Year in the Rose Bowl by ringing Illinois’ bell. It was 49-17, but it wasn’t that close.

It isn’t like the Trojans do this to Big Ten teams all the time. It just feels like it.

This was as predictable as a baseball player taking steroids in a contract year. The Trojans were 13 1/2-point favorites and most everybody knew that was a holiday gift from the Vegas bookies.

Can they cover? Chuckle.

Poor old Illinois came in with a 9-3 record and a No. 13 national ranking and brought along lots of fans who dressed like fruit baskets. For a day, the Rose Bowl became an orange grove.

“We give them the utmost respect,” Illinois defensive back Kevin Mitchell said afterward, “for coming out here and staying with us, even late in the game.”

Admirable loyalty or late dinner reservations in Old Pasadena?

Last year, Michigan brought its vaunted handoff right/handoff left offense to the Rose Bowl and was sent home empty-handed by USC, although Big Blue was certainly soothed by the knowledge that it would open its 2007 season against Appalachian State.

Get your bets down now for that Mizzou-Illini game in St. Louis on Aug. 30.

Two years ago, USC lost the Rose Bowl and the national title when Texas and a man from outer space named Vince Young nipped them at the end. No problem like that this year. Illinois’ team was certainly made up of mortals, from a conference that features lots of those.

The last time a Big Ten team won a Rose Bowl game was in 2000, nine games ago, when Wisconsin beat Stanford.

Pretty soon, the Big Ten is going to have to resort to hiring police escorts to make sure teams that are invited actually show up. They may need a Midwestern public-relations campaign for the fans:

“Go anyway. The weather will be nice.”

USC’s victory left more questions unanswered than answered.

Yes, the Trojans were a power again, winning a record 11 or more games for a sixth straight season.

But are they better than the current No. 1 team, Ohio State, which will play LSU for the BCS title Monday night? So far, Ohio State has lost one game this season, 28-21. To Illinois.

And if Ohio State beats LSU for the national title, does that make USC No. 1A?

Pete Carroll, USC’s coach, knows that the BCS permutations are too confusing to tackle, and so he didn’t afterward, except to say, “Would we like to be playing now? You bet we would.”

The what-ifs continue to make life fascinating in college football, and, this season, especially so at USC.

What if John David Booty hadn’t broken the middle finger on his passing hand against Stanford? What if Carroll had done what he later admitted he should have done and taken Booty out when it happened, rather than letting him throw some uncharacteristic interceptions with a hand that couldn’t quite grip?

What if Mark Sanchez, Booty’s replacement, hadn’t thrown that late interception against Oregon?

It seems fairly clear that the loss to Stanford was the deal-breaker and without that, Tuesday’s Rose Bowl would have been a much-fairer matchup: Arizona State and Illinois. Golly, the Big Ten might have won one.

All that’s clear now is that USC will move up somewhat from No. 7 and that, once again, they were in a small group of the best teams in the country that, had somebody held a four-team grand finale, they were a sure entry.

Carroll, America’s happiest 55-year-old, left his most recent conquest all smiles, as usual, gushing about the Rose Bowl being “neat and cool,” and praising a senior class that has dominated college football.

He loses Booty and has three quarterbacks to choose from for next season -- Sanchez, Mitch Mustain and Aaron Corp -- any of whom would star in most Division I programs. Heck, Mustain already has, at Arkansas.

He loses a great receiver in Fred Davis and gains one in Mustain’s Arkansas running mate, Damian Williams.

He loses some major players on defense, but has bone-breaker Rey Maualuga back, as well as his meaner-than-a-junkyard-dog buddy Brian Cushing.

Carroll will need to work on the poise issue, and admitted that “We had some penalties I didn’t like.”

He didn’t like it because it was embarrassing. USC was penalized 11 times for 130 yards and many of them were personal fouls and unsportsmanlike conduct. Three times, USC was forced to kick off from its own 15-yard line because of excessive touchdown celebrations.

Soon, Trojans hot-dogging triggered Illini hot-dogging. After Illinois’ Arrelious Benn scored late to cut USC’s lead to the final 49-17, he tossed the football into the Trojans band, getting his own 15-yarder for the next kickoff. No word on damaged tubas.

Illinois had 66 yards of its own in penalties, making the game total 196 yards. Somewhere along the way, boys will be boys turned into jerks will be jerks.

Today, of course, is Jan. 2. That is also known as the first day of a new year of “Pete Carroll will go to the pros” rumors.

Probably, he won’t ponder that for at least one season, since Rick Neuheisel has signed on at UCLA and Carroll won’t want to miss all those UCLA-USC-week luncheons where both coaches share the dais. That may be better than the game.

Other than that, Tuesday brought normalcy to Pasadena.

USC won a Rose Bowl and hordes of nice Midwestern people dressed up in funny colors spent lots of money here and headed home to tell their friends the nice things they experienced.

Talk will center on the weather.

--

Dwyre can be reached at Bill.D[email protected]. For previous columns, go to latimes.com/dwyre.