THE GLUTTON

When the Glutton heard about Simon L.A.’s junk-food platter, it was like an offer to test drive the SUV of desserts: large, ostentatious, impractical and, despite it all, difficult to resist. Unfortunately, it’s even harder to endure.

Kerry Simon’s dessert sampler ($25) knows no moderation: Rice Krispies treats, vanilla milkshake, cotton candy, cookies, miniature snowballs and chocolate cupcakes, doughnut holes, chocolate ice cream and blackberry sorbet. Even the Glutton had to wonder: Why?

A hint of lime transformed the cotton candy from a county-fair staple into a surprisingly lovely confection. And the exceptionally fresh vanilla shake felt more like cream. But the Rice Krispies treats were painfully dense. The doughnut holes were dry and flavorless. And the snowballs were still pink and noxious. Save money and shop in a Hostess Bakery Thrift Shop.

The evening’s climax came not amid the deadening bounty of the junk-food platter, but in a 3-inch dish that had been cooked for only eight minutes. The chocolate souffle, accompanied by a small tureen of chocolate sauce, was angelic. Alas! This off-menu item is available only through the holidays. Again . . . Why?

The Glutton would happily give up a night with Simon’s junk-food sampler for seven minutes in heaven with his souffle.

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