Letters to the Editor: We’ve made everything about growing up competitive. It’s time to stop

To the editor: Thanks to physician Audrey Young for calling attention to the insanity that has pervaded youth sports. As a teacher and father of three, I have witnessed the toxicity that increasingly pervades what used to be simple opportunities for kids to have fun.

I would only add that this problem is not unique to sports. One could simply replace the word “sports” with “academics” or “extracurricular activities” and make a similar assessment.

At some point in the last few decades, growing up became a zero-sum game where everyone competes for just a few top spots at the “right” college. Kids bury themselves in honors classes, homework and endless hours of volunteering in an effort to gain some kind of edge.

No wonder anxiety runs rampant. When will this madness end? When will we stop and just let kids be kids?

Carlos Anwandter, Gardena

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To the editor: In my experience as a high school counselor and coach, youth athletes look forward to the end of their day when they can practice and forget about the stresses of academics.

In fact, they are truly practicing mindfulness and being in the moment as they dive in the pool, hit balls or run around the track. When working out, their bodies release endorphins, nature’s antidepressant.

The team camaraderie also provides support and a sense of belonging that teens need in school. Most athletes are forced to learn time management because they have to balance athletics with academics. In many cases athletes have better grades when their sport is in season because it helps them structure their days.

When I have seen anxiety and depression with sports, it is often connected to parental performance pressure and unrealistic expectations. Every coach knows kids whose parents killed their love of the sport.

Yes, parents should talk to their kids about competition, but they also need to examine if their attitude is contributing to increased anxiety too.

Lori Howe, Encino

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To the editor: As a psychologist for more than 40 years, I have long been concerned about our culture that so highly prizes competitiveness and winning above all. I have tried in my career to teach cooperation.

Competitiveness is a natural personality trait for a relatively small number of people. Kids who are not naturally competitive are forced into it by parents, schools and other institutions. It is indeed very harmful to self-esteem and even physical health.

Competitive sports can teach valuable lessons and skills, but the approach suggested by Dr. Young — “athletes and coaches can focus on play and skill development, rather than who finished first” — is a superior approach when it comes to sports.

Christopher Knippers, Huntington Beach