Saying just a little too much

People love to talk. We go and do things and then we tell everyone

little versions of what we did. People love to gossip to their

friends, to their family and the general population. Maybe it is to

take up time, to enlighten you, or maybe to cleanse their soul, but

it can get annoying.

I was walking through Gelson’s one day with my mother down the

cereal aisle when we ran into a mother of a child who went to my

grade school, but was older. She was wearing a large sweatshirt with

“Yale” plastered across her chest. She began by saying hello and

telling us all the colleges her daughter got into, her SAT scores and

how she is staying a virgin even though she has a boyfriend. I was

stunned. I did not even remember what her daughter looked like, but I

knew every single AP class she had been in high school.

A friend of mine went around telling everyone that his father had

a child out of marriage and that his mother was on drugs. Another

friend of mine told me that her mother cheated on her tax returns,

and that her father was having an affair. I like gossip at times

(actually all the time), but I am alarmed with the dangerous little

confessions that were emitted through the lips of my peers. Nothing

is sacred, nothing is taboo.

In World War II, there was a slogan that “loose lips sink ships.”

This was said to all the people of America to hold a basic instinct

that has been given out to the population and spread with the

inventions of e-mail, faxes, cell phones and the ability to get

anywhere in the world in less than 24 hours. These inventions are

supposed to be for “communication,” which is a fancy name for gossip.

Why do we not have anything that we can’t talk about? Should we say

all the things we say? What is too much talk?

Sometimes when I am out with friends or parents I will remove

myself from the conversation and watch like a spectator the circus

playing out in front of me. The subjects are pointless -- we are not

accomplishing anything. We just kept talking to fill the air with

words past and ideas not completely thought out. People will say

totally inappropriate things just to take up the time slot.

Should we hold things sacred or should we go through life saying

what we please no matter how damaging to others?

Even with writing this column, people have already thought I was

attacking them, even when I wasn’t. Maybe these small insights that I

write are stupid and useless. But, if we question and talk, then what

else do we that is frivolous and pointless? Purchasing, moviegoing

and traveling are all expenses that really make no difference. We

outgrow clothes. We hate most movies. And it takes too long to get to

a destination. When other countries attack us, saying America is a

country built on trivial pursuits and indulgence, sometimes I have to

agree.

Like every great compliant, there is always a great rebuttal. This

indulgence that most Americans are very good at might be frivolous,

but it is sure fun. Life is stress-filled and sometimes almost

unbearable, and these relaxations and pleasure offsets all of that.

But too much can be harmful.

That is the same thing about talking. It is like taking a bath: It

feels great and is warm, and you can just unwind from that neutral

position we are in all day long. After a while, though, the water

turns cold, and your skin starts to shrivel. The same is with

everything else. Buying, movies, talking and traveling -- too much of

these things turn the air around us cold, and we begin to shrivel up.

Maybe the lesson needing to be learned is not to keep your mouth

shut, but to handle everything in moderations. The art of control is

one that no one really masters, but we can try.

Instead of spilling your guts, ease them out. Don’t regret, and

don’t forget that not everything you do is available for public

knowledge. It is your own decision. You can go out on the town and

tell everyone everything, but when you wake up in the morning, do not

lament the night before. It is your own decision, but don’t feel that

you have to tell your friends or your family everything.

This choice needs to be made, and will stick with you for the rest

of your life.

* MICHAEL WALEK is a Sage Hill School sophomore whose columns

will appear occasionally in the Forum section.